A Frightening Experience

In the Language class we had to look for adjectives, setting and atmosphere, characters` personality, ways of speaking, adverbs, ways of walking, character's feelings' and characters physical appearance as to write a frightening story. The following text is the story I wrote with the sequence markers, direct spech, rhetorical questions and metaphors used highlighted/underlined etc.

Two hours were left and the people would start arriving. The coffin was in the middle of the dark room; she was inside; so pale, so calm, so beautiful and creepy. Though her piercings had been removed and she was dressed in a deep blue dress.

I was watching how her family members and friend entered the room; all of them were dressed in black suits and dresses, crying in a desolate way, looking at me as if her death had been my fault. However, it was not. The fact was that if I told the truth nobody would believe me.

Everything started on a Sunday night, Mia and I were returning from a wedding; the road was dark, in contrast to Mia's yellow dress that shined as a million stars. “I cannot believe she sent us away!” “What is wrong with her?” Mia asked herself. “I do not know”, I said while I was driving home. Suddenly, a woman dressed in white appeared in the middle of the road and I tried to stop the car not to run over her; what was a woman like her in such a desolate place at this hour of the night? I finally stopped the car and panicky she ran directly to us, lingering, she looked psycho with her big eyes open, so Mia closed her window. “Please! Please!” she screamed knocking on Mia´s window. “Take me to the hospital!” she begged.

Out of the blue, she fainted on the street, she was bleeding and looked like an emo, and all pierced with her black make up. We waited for a while in the car. However, she did not wake up, so we took her to hospital. She was already dead, though. I went as fast as possible, all the same when I arrived it was too late. They took her to the emergency room. Later, one of the nurses started asking what had happened but we were both shocked.

The doctor that assisted her tried to wake her up. However, he could not. They found a phone number in her pocket, so they told me to call. After that I phoned and someone answered the phone, I told what happened but nobody answered, I only heard someone breathing. The following day I received a text message saying a direction and time. When I arrived there, it was the girl's funeral, yet nobody was there, we were just her death body and I in the middle of a dark room.

• Direct Speech
• Describe weather and surroundings
• Rhetorical question
• Metaphor
• Sequence markers
• Connectors